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Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 10:20 AM SORRY !!!! i think there is some misunderstanding in this post .. yup some of the words are meant for u but some are nt... but watever the case this post is also somehow related to our situation ba... it is true tat i am angry and v disappointed wif u ... and i am telling u i am nt uninterested in ur words but maybe is ba of tiredness making it let u feel tis way.. and i nv thought u were this kind of person .. although i admit tat when i was angry tis thought actually past my mind but after tat it faded ... i am glad tat u actually gave it a thought and after i read ur blog i am touched by ur words i really wish this is all true... i am sorry for my one moment selfish towards u .. o maybe it is juz an excuse maybe i am really selfish ... nv thought tat one day other ppl words would weigh higher den mine ba and the person is somebody tat u know a fews day only making me more angry.. maybe is juz me ... i juz feel tat if when u gave it a ask if i wanted to join at least i would nt feel totally left out and think tat u wanted everything to urself i am sorry for this thought i have ba.. maybe is juz we are different ba.. and we do things differently ba.. bec if it was me i would ask u if u wanted to join but maybe tis is nt the way hw u do it..so it is nt totally ur fault .... but watever the case eventually it is u tat will be wif him if he is ur Mr Right nT me so i have no say in watever decision u make but as a frenz i really wish tat there would nt be any regrets for any decsion u make ... and i really wish tat tis time u will nt let any chance slip by and nt leave any regrets in ur life... but i really wish tat if u really like him den i wish tat u will be honest to me i really really dun wish history will repeat itself i really hate it to repeat... AND I REALLY HATE MYSELF FOR HAVING TIS KIND OF CHARACTER.. GOD is always fair... watever u good in something there will be something u will be bad in.. nobody is perfect... i may be able to make a lot of frenz and ppl may admired my ability but do they see wat i lost ..frenz tat are really true and tat can last forever if i can choose i really dun wan tis ability ... i wan to have the eaily satisfied feeling at least i will be happy and nv feel lonely and no bother to tok to ... and feel totally lost... Do u know tat at one point in time when i know u i was really jealous by ur beauty ... i am so jealous y i did nt have tat i really wish to hate u but i cannot bring myself to do so ... bec we have tis so strong bond in btwn of us tat cannot bring myself to hate u .... and when tell me tat actually u do nt have a lot of frenz tat i was so shocked tat bring myself even more nt to hate u ...nt bec i pity u is bec after knowing u .. i have found out lots of things ... things tat u did to kali and Jane tat make me v touched ...u can do so much for them and nv wish the returns ... and choosing to belief even if she really did lie to u ...and u are willing to share things tat others dun have ...u juz let me know tat frenz are the ppl tat will cover ur back and try to help u improve on things tat u once did nt have... i admit tat we have drifted and partly it is bec of me ... maybe bec i have met new frenz causing us to drift but i will do anything and i will try my best to salvage this friendship tat we have ... i really dun wan to lose u as a frenz although it is juz a one year but it feels like we knew each other for years... we have went through so much and i really hope it will nt end here ... really hope tat we nxt time we will honest to each other if there are these things tat u are really v unhappy wif me i really hope tat u will say it out... i dun wan u to hide everything in ur heart ... and act calm and pretend nth happen... i really dun like tis feeling... lets be ppl who can take criticism.. and willing to accept wat is being say and change for the better and i will believe tat FOREVER is nt only can be found inside ur storybk but it can be found in our friendship... and i really hope no obstacles will stop us frm being frenz... pull me back if u think i have drifted... i am sorry if these happens... we will ppl who is willing to share and help each other improve k:) we will return back to the past :) WE WILL !!!!! i love the way it feel when u touch my hand dont wan to let u go i love the way u say that i am ur man dont understand y we cant go on and go on dont understand why you dont belong in my arms And even if i cried a thousnads tears tonight would u come back to me and even if i walked on the water would u come out of the sea now i cant spend my life standing by cause even if i miss u you are still nt missing me It is funny how my heart just wont let it go i juz dun understand it is crazy how the pain seemd overflow the memories of you here wif me by my side i cant deny tat u are the love of my life |