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Friday, May 23, 2008 @ 11:36 PM argh............ ICA coming haiz... i am really v scared... and i dun even know y?? i am really v scared... i wanna to do the best and score high marks... i really dun wanna to disappoint my parents anymore... doing all the thing to make sure tat i will do well but even if i do all the insecurity still remians hw i wish i could get rid of u ... when randy always say "see u therE" and i always reply "hope to see u there " i kept wondering if i could really reach there... I really dun know hiaz... hw i wish all tis would end... hw hard muz i work to let u go off yesterday i went for the jam and hop tat was organised in school .. wif randy. eugene, kenneth, xin yi, viven, karren, aizat, and paulina haha had fun there ... everybody was so high later.... haha so love paulina.... we had fun there... haha glad i did nt went really wild man or else it will be trouble haha..:) haha hope they all enjoy it too :) den went to mos to eat den went home wif kenneth we had a great chat and yesterday i saw i diff side of him :) it was nt bad though haha:) AND WE ARE FRENZ ONLY ... stay at home today .. suddenly i juz thought a lot... things like -wat i wan in the future -y do i really live for -wat to do to feel the emptyness inside me -wat is my real self -hw to be really happy - am i really happy -hw to make my family a really happy family -wat i wan frm myself -hw to get rid of the insercurity inisde me -hw to be wat i wanna to be -y do i study for and more... i think i am gg back to the past losing my way again i really hate tis feeling ... wanting to get rid of tis feeling or nt running away frm all tis using all my might to nt think of all tis but i am really v tired of all tis... tryingg to remain happy even though i am nt .. trying to laugh and make everything go away but sometimes i really really feel v v tired of all tis.. i am really v tired and i hate to be tired but i know i cannot |